Natural Awakening

I have always loved and enjoyed nice things (Cadillacs and shoes are my vices).  I still do.  But in my 20's I had so many "points to prove" to so many people that the accumulation of material things was my way of saying, "...hey look at me, I am doing really well for myself!"  Over a period of time, I had so much "stuff" and cared so much about how I could and would impress others that I began to define myself by what I had.  I knew I was unhappy at a certain point when this was happening, but I didn't know why.  I unconsciously began to make radical changes that many still don't understand.  I resigned from an amazing job that I had with a large corporation.  I started (involuntarily) shedding material things until there was nothing left but me and my relationship with God which had been damaged by all of the "stuff." 

Once I figured out that all of the material things were insignificant because they were not the source of my peace, I started shedding the emotional baggage.  I had an acute desire to know and love myself, as myself, for myself.  A trip to Africa served as a catalyst for the lessons I would have to learn about loving and appreciating my Natural self.  I did not realize it then, but starting my locs was a re-introduction to my authentic self.  I hear from a lot of women that they fear the "in-between" stage of their any Natural transformation.  This is the stage where you are growing your hair from short to long and you are not really comfortable with the dramatic change and the time between starting and getting to a comfortable length.  This was the most important stage because I inevitably fell in love with mySELF all over again.  I learned not to focus on my hair in that stage of growth.  I was able to focus on so many other key areas of my life that I had neglected when I was focused on a superficial image and things in my life.  I concentrated on my relationship with God.  I realized that in life that this was the only thing that I ever wanted to be defined by.  Any byproduct of that relationship should manifest itself as a testimony to others.  I focused on my skin and my health.  Most importantly, I focused on helping others more than ever.  This was and is the best feeling in the world.

My level of personal confidence increased exponentially.  I became even more self-actualized and confident that it affected the people around me.  It was a new kind of confidence.  I found a peaceful confidence that I had never known.  A new Law had emerged in my life.  Honor God, myself and my neighbor with love and truth.  Material things are nice, but they are not who I am.  I finally realized who I AM.  This was my awakening. 

When I am out with my best friend she always marvels at the love and eye contact that other Naturals and I share.  She asks me, "do you all have a secret handshake too?"  I laugh and then I say, "No."  (at least I don't think so).  But I do know that we have all had our own Natural Awakening.

The Natural Darling

How It Started For Me...

People who have known me for any length of time may know that as a child I had long flowing natural hair.  My mother and I used to have the most spirited discussions about when I would be able to get a relaxer.    My mother could never tell me why she was so adamant about me not getting a relaxer.  If she had told me the history of the relaxer and injected potent doses of history and antedotes self-love and empowerment, I know that I don't think that I would have done it.  I have always had a social conscience.  I have always made myself aware of the lingering effects of slavery and oppression.  But at the age of 12, I let a piece of me slip away - my natural hair.  From that point on, I always kept my hair "done."  In college I was known for my impeccable layered hair cut.  In my twenties, I was known for having the best weaves.  I wore weaves when no one was supposed to know that you had a weave! 

At the age of 29, in 2002, I went to South Africa and Ghana with a friend and it totally changed my life and my perceptions.  Upon arrival to Johannesburg, South Africa our group went to the King-Luthuli Transformation Centre.  We were greeted by the most beautiful and gracious people that I have ever met in my life.  Their warmth brought me to tears.  The bold features of South African woman were and are the pinnacle of beauty to me.  What I discovered was that the women were enthralled with us because of our eurocentric features.  They loved our keener noses, lighter skin, variable colored eyes, and straight hair.  The South Africans were so heavily influenced by European and Western media that they had not been able to celebrate or appreciate their natural beauty.  In an instant this broke my heart.  In an instant, I realized why I and so many others could not fathom wearing our natural hair.  We have never been able to define our own standard of beauty based on our natural heritage.  Slavery, colonialism, and  social and political oppression ruined it.  Have you ever thought about that?

When we returned to the States 14 days later, I announced to my closest friends that I was shedding my weave and starting locs.  No one and I mean NO ONE believed me.  It was a process but in June, 2003, I had my weave removed and started locs.  Relaxer was still on the ends and it was terrible.  In December, 2003, I did a big loc chop and never looked back. 

Today, I challenge you to really examine how you define beauty for you and the people around you and WHY.  I challenge you do dig deeper and think about how and why your parents and their parents may have been affected.

The Natural Darling

Welcome

I read and watch so many blogs each day that I decided that I would blog.  More importantly, I decided that I would do an empowering blog.  A blog that will remind you each and everyday that you have the right to celebrate your natural beauty.  A blog that seeks to challenge you in thought and perception.  A blog that gives you a message to carry to others about how it is ok to celebrate your natural essence without apology.  A blog that does not allow you to say, "...that looks good on you, but it wouldn't look right on me."  A blog that compels you to challenge statements like this with enlightenment and encouragement.  A blog that gives you the strength to stand on your natural principle and lead by example with your families and friends who don't know the power and freedom that comes with "being natural."  A blog that will give you access to the best products that the market offers to people with naturally curly hair.  A blog that seeks to partner with innovative companies offering goods and services to make our natural journeys pleasant and enjoyable.  A blog that I will enjoy writing and that you will enjoy reading.

Welcome to The Natural Darling.