Natural Awakening

I have always loved and enjoyed nice things (Cadillacs and shoes are my vices).  I still do.  But in my 20's I had so many "points to prove" to so many people that the accumulation of material things was my way of saying, "...hey look at me, I am doing really well for myself!"  Over a period of time, I had so much "stuff" and cared so much about how I could and would impress others that I began to define myself by what I had.  I knew I was unhappy at a certain point when this was happening, but I didn't know why.  I unconsciously began to make radical changes that many still don't understand.  I resigned from an amazing job that I had with a large corporation.  I started (involuntarily) shedding material things until there was nothing left but me and my relationship with God which had been damaged by all of the "stuff." 

Once I figured out that all of the material things were insignificant because they were not the source of my peace, I started shedding the emotional baggage.  I had an acute desire to know and love myself, as myself, for myself.  A trip to Africa served as a catalyst for the lessons I would have to learn about loving and appreciating my Natural self.  I did not realize it then, but starting my locs was a re-introduction to my authentic self.  I hear from a lot of women that they fear the "in-between" stage of their any Natural transformation.  This is the stage where you are growing your hair from short to long and you are not really comfortable with the dramatic change and the time between starting and getting to a comfortable length.  This was the most important stage because I inevitably fell in love with mySELF all over again.  I learned not to focus on my hair in that stage of growth.  I was able to focus on so many other key areas of my life that I had neglected when I was focused on a superficial image and things in my life.  I concentrated on my relationship with God.  I realized that in life that this was the only thing that I ever wanted to be defined by.  Any byproduct of that relationship should manifest itself as a testimony to others.  I focused on my skin and my health.  Most importantly, I focused on helping others more than ever.  This was and is the best feeling in the world.

My level of personal confidence increased exponentially.  I became even more self-actualized and confident that it affected the people around me.  It was a new kind of confidence.  I found a peaceful confidence that I had never known.  A new Law had emerged in my life.  Honor God, myself and my neighbor with love and truth.  Material things are nice, but they are not who I am.  I finally realized who I AM.  This was my awakening. 

When I am out with my best friend she always marvels at the love and eye contact that other Naturals and I share.  She asks me, "do you all have a secret handshake too?"  I laugh and then I say, "No."  (at least I don't think so).  But I do know that we have all had our own Natural Awakening.

The Natural Darling